Guest Post – Child Confidence by Judy Bartkowiak
When the lovely Faye Rogers asked me if I would like to be part of this fab blog tour I jumped at the chance. Being a mother myself I thought this was a great way to see what this book was about a bit further as it sounded really interesting!
For my stop on the blog tour the lovely author Judy Bartkowiak talks to us about confidence in our children with some handy tips to help with our children’s confidence.
A huge thank you to Faye Rogers and author Judy Bartkowiak for having me on this wonderful tour!
About The Book
Publisher – McGraw-Hill
Date Published – January 1st 2011
Pages – 209 pages
Format – Paperback
Category – Non-Fiction, Self-Help, Living and Learning
“Be A Happier Parent with NLP” gives you the skills you need to raise a confident, secure child in a confident and secure manner. The book uses the tried, trusted and proven techniques of neuro-linguistic programming to help tackle areas in which you may feel you lack confidence as a parent, while at the same time giving you the skills to help your child be happy, fulfilled and confident him- or herself. You’ll find yourself feeling less guilty, more in control, and communicating better with your child–at the same time be able to support your child in difficult situations and help him or her grow into a well-rounded adult.
Includes: Personal insights from the author’s many years of experience of working with children Practical exercises to help you engage with the book and act on what you learn One, five and ten-minute introductions to key principles to get you started Lots of instant help with common problems and quick tips for success, based on the authors’ many years of experience Tests in the book and online to keep track of your progress Quick refreshers to help you remember the key facts.
You can find out more about this fab book here –
I read the other day that failure is children’s greatest fear nowadays, not monsters under the bed or even the bully in the playground. What children fear most is failing, yet in life we know as their parents that life will present many challenges and opportunities to make mistakes so if they fear failure now, how will they learn the resilience that they will need to cope with those challenges they face further down the road in life? We need to teach them confidence because this is like having your own built-in protection.
It may seem strange to talk about teaching confidence, after all, we assume children already have it don’t we? When parents bring children to me (I’m also an NLP Kids Coach) they talk about their child having lost their confidence so one of the things I do with children is to find it again and that’s what you can do, here’s how.
1. When we start to notice that our child seems shy or quiet in company, starts fidgeting when people speak to them or doesn’t meet their eye contact we think they lack self-esteem and describe them as ‘shy’. When they say they don’t want to do something or they opt out of social situations or opportunities to join in, again this confirms that they seem to lack confidence. We put these different examples together and it starts to build a bigger picture of a child with low self-esteem. Maybe we find ourselves only noticing these patterns because we are slightly worried about it and we no longer notice examples of confident behaviour. This is very typical. When we are worried about something, we find ourselves noticing more and more of it. So what can you do to turn the tide? Instead, become curious. Start looking for signs of confidence everywhere. You will see it. The more you look for it, the more you’ll see it as well. Children notice what you are taking an interest in and subconsciously they will display more of the confident behaviour as well.
2. Sometimes we justify their lack of confidence by saying that we are quite shy ourselves or we perhaps also avoid opportunities to be centre stage. Our children model us. What they see us do is their pattern for life so if we hold back then they will copy that way of being and value it as the right way to be. They will be critical of others who are more confident and find their friends amongst others like them with whom they feel comfortable. So you need to model how you’d like them to be. Act as if you were confident to show them how to do it.
3. Children need to find their own way of being confident and you can help by asking them who amongst their friends or their schoolmates is confident in a way that they’d like to be confident or which TV character or book character? Then suggest that when they are going into a situation that could be challenging they should imagine they are that person and ask themselves “what would he/she do now or say now?”
For more ideas on how to build confidence in your child email [email protected] for your free copy of ‘Confidence for kids’ (EBook or PDF).
About The Author
Judy Bartkowiak is the author of ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ a guide to using life coaching skills to enhance your parenting. Judy and her husband Edward have four children – Lucy, Alex, Jess and Paul and live in rural Berkshire with their dogs Roxy and Holly and nine hens. Other NLP Family (www.nlpfamily.com) titles are:
NLP for Parents
NLP for Children (5-10yrs)
NLP for Tweens (11-14yrs)
NLP for Teens (15yrs+)
NLP for Teachers
NLP for New Mums
NLP for Weight Loss
NLP for Work
NLP for Back to Work
Secrets of the NLP Masters
Judy Bartkowiak comes from a business background where she worked with Toy companies and TV production companies helping them to understand children and their relationship with brands such as LEGO, Baby Born, Bratz, Thomas the Tank Engine, Pocoyo, Fireman Sam and many other well-known names. She runs Kids Brands Europe alongside her NLP training and coaching www.kidsresearch.co.uk and has a Facebook Kids Panel for Market Research which is done online or from her home.
She has an NLP training and coaching practice NLP Kids www.nlpfamily.com, specialising in child and parenting issues and runs Kids Brands Europe (www.kidsresearch.co.uk) as well as writing for children as JudyBee.
Judy loves playing tennis and reading as well as spending time with her family.
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Have you read this book? What did you think? What did you think of the Confidence guest post? I would love to hear from you! Why not leave a comment using the reply button at the top of the post or tweet me on twitter using @chelleytoy !